I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize