At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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