Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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