dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
