North Korea, Best Korea!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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