I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
