you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
