If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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