There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
