Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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