Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
