I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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