his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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