In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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