would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
