he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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