remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize