singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
