don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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