mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
