My first STD was from a foam party
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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