Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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