You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
