My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
