i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
