Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I'm really busy with my period
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