Whod you bang
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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