did you get engaged???
"it" just moved
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
