..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
