Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
