Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
