The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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