everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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