just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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