im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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