I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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