i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Ladies don't puke and tell
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
