There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
