Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
