Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize