Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Your cock deserves a montage
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
