just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
