There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
