guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
