i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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