maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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