as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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