I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
