CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wish you could order shots online.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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