he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
