Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
