My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
