everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
