Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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