You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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