She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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