I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
