Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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