I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
