i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
