I wannas sexs uuuuu
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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