You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
